On Mother's Day

My Mother's Day started like any other day, to the sound of at least one baby crying. Now, as it is the weekend, I've let their schedule slide a little bit which gave me a few extra hours sleep going into Saturday. Last night they decided to take that back; this morning was not greeted as happily as the one before.

Over the course of today, I've received: 1 handmade card (from Quinn), 1 decorated cup full of dirt (that I am assured that a seed lives in), 1 handmade necklace (also from Quinn), and three commercial cards (one from each of the twins and one from Sean). We had to forgo the usual brunch as my husband has been suffering from a migraine all day... which was a bit worrysome as he does not get migraines. The day has progressed like any other day otherwise; dishes, laundry, babies. Meh.

Speaking of babies, both are doing very well after their excellent medical adventures. We were at the pediatrician 2 weeks ago and they had gained a whole pound each. By last week, they had gained another pound, which puts Zoe over 8 lbs and Wyatt close to 9. Wyatt has actually made the growth chart. Hooray!

Last Monday saw us heading to the Family MD after a trip to the polls. All three kids were due for shots. Zoe cried real tears after her needles (one in each thigh) and Wyatt almost turned blue after his... and Mommy was not far behind. Quinn too needed a jab and he took his like a trooper. He had to: Mommy quietly restrained him for the shot. Everybody got Tylenol and a couple of hours later no one was the worse for wear. Including Mommy.

No more ouchies pweeze.

Tuesday was a trip in the rain to Wyatt's cardiologist. They had called us the day before stating that there was an opening and they wanted to sedate him for his test (presumedly for a trans-esophogeal). Needless to say, between the 5 year old, the weather and Brampton Transit, we were very late and had to forgo the sedation (not that I minded terribly about that either). Instead, they did a regular echo and were very pleased to note that the ventricular aspect of his Atrioventricular Septal Defect has in fact narrowed significantly. On top of it, there is a significant amount of occlusion, meaning that part of the hole is mainly blocked. He therefore does not have the gross mixing of blood from the left to the right side, which means it is not overloading his lungs and, as we speak, is mainly asymptomatic. He will still need surgery eventually, but I am very happy to report that it can be held off until he is approximately 3 or 4 years of age. That is fantastic news. It allows his heart (and him) to grow and makes the surgery that much easier for everyone. Especially Wyatt.

Yay for me!

As for his Down Syndrome... well, to this humble, non-expert, he doesn't look that far behind his sister and most of that (to me) can be chalked up to him being a boy. He does have more variety in his vocalizations, when he uses them. He's more active as well (when he is awake); he can wiggle across the crib to Zoe. I'm pretty sure she can do the same, but she's too busy yelling. I've connected with Infant Development of Peel, so we're now on the waiting list for resources.

Next on our list of specialist appointments for Wyatt will be an ENT (Ear, Nose and Throat) and an opthamologist, all within the next month or so. The appointments have settled down to part-time status, which is a blessing too. Getting these kids out the door is a major manoeuvre; the planning, the anticipating, the preparations, the packing, the equipment... I swear, it would be easier to annex a small country. I had a Region of Peel nurse through here not too long ago and she was amazed at my "organization". I told her it was do or die, and she laughed. She's the mother of twins as well, which left me scratching my head a bit. But, it was nice to know that the cheese hasn't totally slid off my cracker. It's been pretty close some days...

It's the little things that are keeping me sane these days, I think. Well, I'm not totally sure, it could be the chocolate, so that excuse is as good as any. ;) I received a 1 TB (Terrabyte) drive for Christmas and recently I've been archiving all my photography, etc. I've also been archiving my writing, especially since I stopped by my MSN Page on Quinn's birthday and found it deleted. After that little heart attack/discovery, I set up an account with WordPress and have slowly been moving things over. As an interesting footnote here, there were quite a few pieces that I thought lost forever. I took a chance and relit the fuse on an old dispute with Facebook. It only took a few emails, but I got my original profile reinstated. I was delighted (but also a little disturbed) to see most of my stuff still as I had left it, three years prior. It had switched over to the new format but all the rest was the same. I picked off what I could and then reposted them on the WordPress Archives (and then deactivated the account). We shall see... I like the layout and interface there better, however I can (and am) importing posts from my Blogger account. I guess only time will tell. I gave it a facelift as well as it looked a little crappy compared to the WordPress design. I'm also undecided how to post to Facebook... The RSS feed is flaky (see dispute link above) and it's already given me trouble today. I may just have use an old fashioned cut+paste...

I hope everyone had a Happy Mother's Day. Mine, like most days, had its moments of supreme joy and moments where I wanted to stab myself in the face*. It's the hardest job in the world... but I wouldn't trade it in for anything. Even chocolate.

Quinn and Zoe (in a rare, non screaming moment)

Quinn and Wyatt

*Note: a turn of phrase, not an actual desire. Please, you don't have to call the experts, which would be me anyway, so relax. Really...

Zoe and Wyatt's Excellent [Medical] Adventures

[originally posted to Facebook Sunday, April 10, 2011 at 10:13am]

Believe it or not, we try to keep things reasonably drama free around here. The unwritten family rule is this: regardless of what washes up against the house, inside we stay cool. We like it quiet.

Then we had twins. I fear that quiet is a thing of the past.

Monday and Tuesday of this past week were scheduled to be back to back appointment days. Monday was to be Zoe's consult with the surgeon while Tuesday was Wyatt's trip to the cardiologist. That changed Monday at Zoe's appointment. Her inguinal hernia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inguinal_hernia) had become harder to reduce prior to this; in fact the last time I did it, I wanted to be sick as it required more pressure than I was comfortable with and it went in with an almost audible squish-pop. Yuck. The surgeon, who was French (which is only significant in that she is one of the few people that can pronounce my daughter's name correctly) had a hard time reducing it as well; she and Zoe battled it out for a few minutes before it popped back in. Zoe screamed the entire time. It was awful. The surgeon had an opening in her schedule the very next day, which when the shock wore off, we jumped at it. We took it for three reasons: 1) to get it over with, 2) as it was becoming harder to reduce, the chances of it becoming incarcerated were increasing all the time and 3) the surgeon was booked up for weeks doing complex 4 hour tumours and whatnot and with it getting worse, we didn't want to take any chances. Tuesday it was to be then.

Some of you may be shocked to learn that I don't have a cel phone... especially since I was practically married to mine at one time. To be honest, it's a leash that I'm happy to be without and I'm liking the money I'm saving. The unfortunate part is that there are probably three times a year that I could really use one. Monday was that day. I called Wyatt's cardiologist via payphone on my credit card and explained that we would have to reschedule and why. The receptionist was very sweet and told me she would leave a message at my home number with a new appointment. Fabulous. I figured it would be in a few weeks time, but what can you do? Wyatt's echo is very important, but Zoe's hernia was technically more "on fire" and as a parent, you have to make these difficult calls sometimes.

We did our pre-op, we headed home after a very long day at Mac. We planned to be home by noon and ended up being home just after four, which as you can imagine totally messed up everyone's feeding schedule and whatnot. Going anywhere with a baby is tricky as you have to pack their whole world; it's a major maneuver to get twins and a four year old out the door at any time. Once we had sorted out everyone and called a few people (and updated my status to take care of the rest of my peeps) we started our planning for the next day. I would be staying over with Zoe while Sean, Wyatt and Quinn would return home. I have enough EBM in my freezer for the whole NICU, so Wyatt would be more than taken care of for 24 hours. I packed clothes for both Zoe and myself, bottles, pumps, sterilizer bags, diapers, wipes... you name it. These days, hospitals don't supply anything as they expect you to bring your own supplies. If there is one thing I hate it is being unprepared, so it all had to go.

Zoe's surgery was booked for 1230; we were supposed to be there for 1100. We made it on time... and had to wait. And wait. And wait. Zoe had been NPO since her last feed at 6am, so keeping her quiet and happy was a bit of a challenge. Twins also make you a bit of a celebrity, so quite a few people were coming over to check us out and ask questions. This I normally don't mind, but with an hour's sleep and my daughter crying and her about to be cut open, I really didn't have the patience for it and had to grit my teeth a few times. We were finally called in and Zoe was "vitaled" and changed into a baby hospital gown (which was so big on her it looked like a christening gown). We wrapped her up in a hot flannel to soothe her a bit and it worked as she stopped crying and conked out. I was on edge as I walked back to the waiting area; halfway there I looked up and saw Sean's Aunt walking towards us. I almost burst into tears. It's amazing how comforting a familiar face can be in these situations; it's made even more so when it's family. (Also, thank you to the little birdie that passed my status update on... xox)

Shirley's visit also helped offset what was another lengthy wait. I have no idea what time they finally called us in, but it had to be close to 2. I walked in carrying my daughter and held her tight as I met quite a few members of her team and spoke to the surgeon. Since Zoe is only 6 weeks old I was unable to be with her as she went under and I was definitely banned from the OR. I had to hand my daughter over to a stranger and shuffle back to the waiting room to the rest of my family.

Sean wisely directed us to the cafeteria so that we could eat. Partly to take our minds off things but also to make sure that I would eat as I tend to forget these things when I am upset. Since I am breastfeeding twins, I need an extra thousand or so calories a day, so missing meals is right out. I rushed through my lunch, knowing that the surgeons actual part in the operation would take about 10 minutes and I wanted to be back there to meet up with her post-op. As it was, we got there just as she did. She let us know that Zoe did exceptionally well and I would be called in to be with her as soon as she started to wake up a bit. She also noted that there were no concerns from her point of view so that we could follow up with our pediatrician. Which, aside from being great news, is nice as it saves us another trip to Hamilton.

It seemed like an eternity passed before I was called in. Zoe was still asleep, but rooting like crazy and had to eat. She fed and before I knew it, our room upstairs was ready. This was a pleasant surprise as I expected to be in post op for at least a few more hours. As we were getting ready to move her upstairs, Sean told me that an old family friend of ours had stopped by and was waiting for us by the elevator. Zoe went upstairs while I talked to Dave for a little bit... once again, a friendly face in the middle of a chaotic day can make the world of difference. When we got upstairs, she was asleep in an enormous crib with rolled towels creating a little nest. They don't normally get babies that young I guess so she was a bit of a star with the staff as quite a few had to pop in to see "the baby" and "the twins". Since she was sleeping off the anesthetic and as comfortable as any princess, we nipped off to Shirley's for a fantastic (and much needed) home cooked meal.

I stayed on a hard little pull out couch thing that wrecked my hip and reminded me that I am old, but I did manage to get some solid sleep. I was very impressed with the staff... even though both her day nurse and night nurse's ages almost added up to mine, they were very knowledgeable and kind. They also gave us a bag with literature about the unit and a bear for Zoe (that was her second bear of the day as the OR nurses gave her a little one as well). Remember all my packing and planning? Not needed as they brought armfuls of diapers, wipes, formula, bottles... whatever I needed to the room. We're also talking proper wipes here, not the ghetto kleenex-y ones that they use at BCH that made my kids bums bleed. They were really helpful and ran to get anything that I thought I would need. It was almost a pleasure to be there.

Zoe was discharged home mid-afternoon on Wednesday and I was very happy to see my family again. We've managed her pain (if any) with tylenol and kept her incision and tiny steri strips dry. They should come off in a day or two and then she can soak in the tub in another week.

Wyatt's cardiologist had re-booked him for Thursday afternoon, so there was to be no rest for this family. Knowing how busy he is, I was grateful that his secretary was able to totally rearrange the day to fit us in. I packed up all the kids and we headed off on another doctor adventure. I never really realized how many of these we've been doing until Friday morning when Quinn asked if we had to go to "the doctors". When I answered no, he then asked if we had to go to the hospital, to go for an ultrasound, to go for blood tests... After he had exhausted his list and I had answered no to all of them, he replied "Oh good. I'll just go play in the yard then. If I remember how...". Ouch.

The people at the cardiologist were very tolerant of the Swiss Family Logan descending upon them, with our massive stroller, diaper bags and assorted baby paraphernalia. Zoe and Quinn hung out in the waiting room with the secretary while Wyatt and I went in. Wyatt handled the checkup portion quite well but was pretty restless through the echocardiogram. I had to stoop down and hold his hands as he kept trying to take the probe away from the sonographer, the little monkey. We returned to our gear and the rest of the family for a few moments before the Doctor called me in again. He had the images running and told me that he wanted me to take a look at something.

As you all know, Wyatt has AVSD or Atrioventricular Septal Defect. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atrioventricular_septal_defect ) Wyatt's Dr. showed me that the ventricular part of the defect had narrowed since the last echo in utero. In other words, the bottom part of the hole was not as big as before, which was good news. In layman terms, this means that the mixing of oxygenated and deoxygenated blood in the heart would not be as much, thereby reducing his symptoms (as of now, he has none). He then continued to say that he wanted to repeat the echo in a month's time. If what he felt was happening was actually happening, we may be able to postpone Wyatt's surgery until he was four years old. The Doc was still going to present Wyatt at Sick Kids (ie: in Rounds) in a couple of months time, but he felt that things were not as dire as expected. This was fantastic news, to say the least. Waiting will give Wyatt's heart time to grow and he with it, thereby making it a little easier. We shall see in a month's time.

I'm not sure if I'm learning to appreciate the little things or if I'm getting better at handling new crises that come our way. The BFF commented the other day that I sound better (ie on her mini psychosocial assessment) this time (post-partum) than I did with Quinn, even though "this time" involves two very complicated babies. I have to agree with her. Even though Zoe has us all up all night long with her colic and revolving symptoms and Wyatt gives me the willies every time he freaks out and turns blue, it's do-able. I don't know how it is, but it is.

Now if I could only get some of that pesky sleep...

The Best News All Week

I'm in a little bit of a celebratory mood.

Not only did the surgery go well (and my nose is looking even better than it did yesterday), I got some good news regarding Moley.

On dissection, it was found to be an interdermal nevus, not basal cell carcinoma. So in other words, just a mole. (In the handy little reference I've linked above, it specifically mentions these nevi being mistaken for that type of skin cancer.)

It's a little bit of a happy ending to a stressful couple of weeks.

Still, you should wear your damn sunscreen. :)

Moley, Moley, Moley - Surgery Update - A Stitch In Time - The Best News All Week

A Stitch in Time...

Just a few shots of the healing process...

I did a few more self portraits 4 days post-op. You can really see that it has started to heal very nicely

Day 4 Crop

Day 4

You can see the marks that the bandages were leaving on my face. I was afraid that the rest of the skin around the site would start to break down, but luckily it did not.

Today I got the stitches out. My surgeon was very pleased with my progress. So am I; I can't believe it's the same nose.

7 days post-op

Complete with "after work shook out ponytail hair". Please do not feed the hair...

I was advised that none of the "scar reducing creams" would do any good. Instead, I should apply a moisturizer and stimulate the circulation in the area by rubbing it in small circles. Also, to ALWAYS WEAR SUNSCREEN and makeup with an SPF. Roger Wilco, Dr. Ma'am!

It still aches a bit (and having the stitches removed was not pleasant), but I'm glad that it's all over. I'm looking forward to what it will look like in 6 months or so. I'm also looking forward to maybe some pictures of myself with makeup on... Eek!

Moley, Moley, Moley - Surgery Update - A Stitch In Time - The Best News All Week

Surgery Update

Yesterday we bid adieu to the lump on my nose.

After almost missing my call in (I was zoned out listening to Dark Side of the Moon), they escorted me into one of the day surgery suites. Everything was going swimmingly... the surgeon drew all over my nose, we chatted... and then she shoved what felt like a tree trunk into my face.

I am no stranger to pain; I live with it daily. For the record, however, having the local anesthetic applied was the worst pain I have ever felt, bar none! Worse than the C section, worse than a tattoo, worse than the kidney stones... combined! When you get hit in the nose, you see stars; I saw through time. It was awful and lasted over a minute and a half. Thank goodness for Lamaze breathing and Bach! She slid the needle under the skin over and over, liposuction style and then jabbed it in my nose in various spots. Yeeeooowch! Once the blessed numbness came, the rest was a cakewalk.

I had a moist towel over my eyes to protect them from the light. It slipped a bit over my right eye, so I got to see most of the surgery. I chose to avoid the mole removal part, but was facsinated by the repositioning of bits of flesh to patch the hole. It was amazing to watch her needle flash as she created what is currently Franken-nose.

One day post-op. I dare you to post your blackheads on the internet...

I was out and down in MHESU calling home in less than 45 mins. Truly amazing. I was sporting (and will be for a while) one of those four-prong knuckle bandages on my nose. That's it.

I tried to take a few more raw self portraits this morning, if only for the sake of documentary. It was a bit challenging as my smile is still crooked due to the swelling (that, and I have yucky morning hair).

Ahhh... The harsh light of morning...

I go back to work tonight... so it should be interesting to see the reactions to the giant bandage on my nose. The official story is "bar fight". I may use "Pier six brawl" or "slobberknocker" as well.

Grrr! (The obligatory shot...)

I'm to keep Polysporin (and a bandage if I wish) on it until I see her next Tuesday to get the stitches out. It still aches a bit, but haven't taken any pain meds since last night. I'm sure I'll tuck my T3's into my purse for tonight, just in case. With any luck, it will be a quiet night.

Or at least, I won't get hit in the face...

Moley, Moley, Moley - Surgery Update - A Stitch In Time - The Best News All Week

Moley Moley Moley...

I'm sitting here at the computer, on my third Floyd Album, just trying to main-taaaiin.

It was a lousy weekend at work. The busy kind of lousy, not the dangerous or the incident ridden kind. Too many MHA apprehensions, too many crackheads. God, I love the crackheads; always a cheery smile and a flattering appraisal of you and your gifts. They are nature's way of keeping you humble, really. Now that its summer again, the rain keeps washing them up to the front door.

I looked at myself in the mirror when I got up today and saw an old woman. I've seen her before, in flashes, but Time is rapidly becoming that frienemy who tells y'all that my ass looks fat in these pants. My acne however, helps me keep my youthful glow. Ugh.

Since I had Quinn, the mole population on my body has exploded. Some are skin tags that my son helpfully rips off once and a while, some are sun damage spots. (Ok, a lot are sun damage spots. I spent many years a sun bunny and quite a few in tanning salons.) I've had a few moles for a long time, one of which started out as a small spot on my nose in my middle to late teens. For years, people mistook it for a piercing (including my own father, who, I will add, has a mole in the same spot). I really didn't spend too much time correcting them. I've even been known to dab a little sparkle on it before I go out. It has gotten noticibly larger over the last few years and I've toyed with the idea of getting it zapped off. Like everything else, it got sidelined for more important things.

A few weeks ago I lightly rubbed my itchy nose and my hand came away covered in blood. Upon examination, the mole had begun to tear away from my nose and was bleeding profusely. It healed pretty quickly, but I headed to my family doc to see if he could rip it off for good. If I missed it, I was gonna get that piercing.

My family doctor referred me to a plastic surgeon on the 19th, who took one look at it, measured it and sat down to have "the talk" with me. My mole, as it turns out, is not a mole. It is skin cancer. Specifically, basal cell carcinoma.

An honest self-portrait...

Now, in all fairness, to activate the logic based defense mechanisms, if you are going to get skin cancer, this is the one to get. It's generally non-invasive and usually easy to fix with surgery. The non-logic parts of my psyche would like to remind you that it is still cancer. They would also like to add that after the thyroid and the cervix, this would be my third brush with this word.

My plastic surgeon (I just love saying that) went on to describe some sort of flappy closure thing that they would do to fill in the hole with skin from the side of my nose. I told her at the time that I didn't care what she did as long as I didn't end up with Michael Jackson's nose. (Oh settle down, he was still using it at the time.) She added that it would probably take a very long time to heal, probably upwards to a year and that there would be a bump there and it could look like a small bit of swelling. She also added that if I had still been a smoker, it would probably never heal. Good to know.

So, tomorrow morning, I go to day surgery for a little bit and get it over with. I'm sure it will go fine and I'll spend the afternoon on painkillers eating KD and watching cartoons. I'm returning to work Wednesday night with a few exceptions. The surgeon was horrified (as people usually are) when she found out what I do for a living, so she added a few disclaimers. Stuff like "try not to bend too much", and my all time favourite, "Don't get hit in the face".

I'll try not to.

Moley, Moley, Moley - Surgery Update - A Stitch In Time - The Best News All Week